Cognitive Dissonance

I can honestly say, I have worked my ass off from early childhood on – attempting to rid myself of painful memories, mental and emotional assaults, and devastating experiences. I have made it my mission to open my heart to (real love – eternal, mystic love) the thing I was never taught or witnessed, as a child – using every modality available – psychoanalyzing, prayers, ceremonies, mantras, blessings, initiations, drugs, gurus, teachers, classes, sounds, workshops, and affirmations – ALL with no lasting results… Nothing has ever worked to rid me of the indwelling nasty houseguests in my mind, so…. I laid down in my bed one night and just gave up – once and for all.

 (I guess things only happen when the real “fuck-it” comes.)

 I couldn’t do it anymore. I literally had succumbed to: “this is how it’s going to be, so learn how to live the rest of your life just getting thru the day”…. and then – for the umpteenth time, I wept.

Thru the night, I would wake up, have that thought, “this is just how it’s going to be”, cry uncontrollably, and fall back to sleep.

This didn’t just go on for one night; this went on for days and nights. Then more days, and more nights …

Then something different happened-

 I awoke the next morning in the usual manner, “fuck-it”– “I have struggled with this pain all my life… I’m exhausted from carrying around these feelings, while pretending I’ve got my shit together in front of everyone else”….

I took a deep breath, a sigh actually; and as I laid there swimming in my “head-soup” and snot…  something weird happened (more like a feeling really) it made its way thru the mud of my mind and into the conversation. I heard it loud and clear.

“I love you, I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you”

EXCUSE ME? (as though I was speaking to someone else in the room)

“I love you, I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you”

I sniffed back the drool, adjusted my body in the bed and listened again… no words this time, but a flash of memory – my foster mother throwing a glass of whisky at me, it cracking against my head (I was 4 years old) … and then those words – almost like a whisper – “I love you, I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you”

I think I must have been in some kind of shock or something. How in the hell do those two things go together in a thought? Seriously…WTF???

Then another horrible image (private)… then the words again… “I love you, I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you”

“Okay”, I said out loud … “what the hell is this?” – more mind-mud – “you’re just makin’ that shit up… you’ve heard too many spiritual woo-woo statements, and that one just stuck….” Hang on a second; I need to hear that again… I need to UNDERSTAND this!

Silence.

Nothing… so I got up, made myself a strong cup of coffee and decided to just type the words into my computer. (side note: I often use my computer like a tarot deck when something strange pops into my head – I do a search on it… it’s weird… I know… it’s just my thing. But you would be shocked at what we “pick up” on the airwaves). Anyway….

“I love you, I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you”… BLAM… the words Ho’oponopono show up. Wait a minute; I’ve seen this before. This has got to be in the list (up there) of things “tried and failed”. I know I’ve done this before… haven’t I?

The first web site I hit was > http://www.idreamcatcher.com/hooponopono/

I read it, and I suggest before you continue on with what I have to say here… you read it too. And take note of the guy who brought it into the “market”. I have a little something for “Joey” at the end of this article.

My mind starts spinning fast. I start to think, holy shit… what if this were the only thing left to do? THE ONLY WORK WE NEED TO DO, to help us all get thru this massive transition…. This 2012 crash and burn alchemical meat grinder! (more on that later)

What if we could actually DO THIS and it would work? At the very least, maybe it would help us get in touch with a deeper more meaningful way to deal with all the wars and personal pain, and planetary changes?

What the hell… It couldn’t hurt!

So I started. And something wonderful happened to me. I began to feel lighter, less heavy, and less sick inside. I tried it on every negative thought… they abated. I tried it with my water… it tasted better… I tried it with my clients and friends – they lightened up! On and on… now I’m doing it all the time. Inside my head, quietly and privately… taking responsibility… by just saying the words.

“I love you, I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you”

My personal results have been astounding so far. I am actually starting to feel something changing inside. I can’t explain it (nor do I really want to) but it’s better than crying myself to sleep at night in misery. A lot better!

I do want to state here, that this is a work in progress. I’m not sure I’ll ever be a “happy-happy-joy-joy skippy girl”, but if I can get that 51 % positive thing everybody is talking about… I’ll take it!

So I had my friend Tom put a little “widget” on this site to keep pumping the vibration out there and onto the net. I also decided to make this my “little mission”.

I’m going to “pay it forward” and use it with everything – personal and public. I claimed it as my medicine, and whether it “gives” me something or not, I’m going to do it anyway. No expectations.

If I’ve learned anything from this life – I know this… once you stake a claim on some truth or belief, or make a resolve, you can bet your ass you are gonna be tested on it! How else will you know unless you’re given a way to try it out?

So let me be the first to tell you, I HAVE BEEN TESTED… and after another failure (as it would seem)… I went back to the statement – “I love you, I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you”, again a change inside me, and again another test.

And so it is.

The only decent video I could find explaining the story behind “Ho’oponopono” is the link just below. The problem I have with it (there’s always something – right?) is that this guy (Joe Vitale) has used it – capitalized on it to make money – and gotten himself some pretty “eye candy” from the looks of the photos on his web site… But what the hell right? … everyone deserves to make money – so HEY Joe –

“I love you, I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you”

http://yogaofalignment.com/2009/05/20/hooponopono-i-love-you-im-sorry-please-forgive-me-thank-you/

I found a few other links with some good info on this old wisdom; it’s been around for a while so it looks like people have their own way with it. I’m good with that – whatever works right?

http://www.thereisaway.org/Ho’oponopono_cleaning_meditation.htm

The basic meaning of the word Ho‘oponopono – given by the Hawaiian culture, (and loosely translated) – means “to set things right”. The basic concept behind practicing Ho‘oponopono requires you to first realize the immutable fact that your entire existence comes from within, not from anything, anyone, or anywhere – outside of yourself.

Read more here – http://tribes.tribe.net/hooponopono/thread/96903cc1-435b-47f5-8b08-8e70ff6228b5

What does one do with a weary heart, but try to lighten it? …. yet only in the rarest of times do we share the deep and Holy. 

From my world to yours, much love - 

Oshi

I am a splintered bird of the tribes long lost – a sparrow in the strong winds

I dwell in a deep cave where many lights flicker – so many not one can be seen

Within this cave, the hold of crowded light – I sing my song to the tree people

I call to those spirits perfect and whole- for they know the true names of the elders 

I sing only to them, the orphans lament – for the two legged no longer have ears

They will pass this aria to my brothers and sisters – and the others who cry alone 

Great Mother, grant me the wisdom of your experience to heal the purple and red,

for they are the wounds left over by every man – the malaise of the cold and dark 

Carelessly unattended, we are lost and without strength – our minds are weary from wander 

Help us return from our solitary distance, for we long to come home and be welcome

I offer to you, all that I have – my song from the winds in the trees

Blessed Mother call to me this one last time, and I will emerge from the darkness within

All orphans hear me, as we make this last push – use every bit of your strength 

Let us bid farewell to the old and the stale – happy to never again mourn

We will rise on the winds of the tribes united – together, one heart – one mind

For we are the harmony in the caves of light – and our brilliance will not be confined 

Article From Change.org

The Discovery Channel is refusing to show the shocking conclusions of its own documentary. 

“Frozen Planet” is a seven-part series that serves as a gripping portrait of life at the ends of the Earth, featuring stunning shots of wildlife at the North and South Poles. 

But when the series airs in the U.S. early next year, Discovery Channel is only showing six episodes: they’re refusing to air the full seventh episode, which deals exclusively with climate change and exposing its devastating effects on our planet.

Claudia Abbott-Barish, an American now living in the UK, where “Frozen Planet” is currently airing, started a Change.org petition asking the Discovery Channel to air all seven episodes of “Frozen Planet” to make sure Americans can see the truth about climate change.

The striking footage of “Frozen Planet” is not to be missed — it features never-before-seen images of penguins, polar bears, glaciers, and the great grey owl. It’s an intimate look at the ice-covered portions of our planet, made by the same people who produced the incredible “Planet Earth” series from a few years ago. Throughout the series, viewers follow stories of animals trying to survive in extreme conditions. 

But central to the story about life at the ends of the Earth is the reality of climate change. 

Some of the show was shot by a cameraman named named Dave, a friend of Claudia’s. While filming in the Arctic and Antarctica, Dave said he was stunned by the experience. He saw shrinking glaciers and melting ice right before his eyes, all while working with scientists who talked about how the devastating effects of climate change are worse than they ever feared.

Discovery Channel prides itself on revealing the mysteries and unseen worlds of our planet. Claudia thinks that by shortchanging U.S. viewers of the reality of climate change, Discovery Channel is doing a disservice to its viewers and the planet.

Please sign Claudia’s petition asking Discovery Channel to air the seventh episode of “Frozen Planet” to tell the whole story about climate change and life at the ends of the Earth. Add your name here:

http://www.change.org/petitions/president-discovery-channel-air-the-climate-change-episode-from-the-frozen-planet-nature-series

Beloved Shaman, I asked, “how might I awaken from this endless dream? For it seems, by loving this world, it has broken my heart, and when I stopped loving this world, my heart became broken. I have forgotten my way and I am truly lost in this dream of being human.”

Shaman answers, “Deep inside [of you] is a place where no sane person would dare go. You must lose your mind to find your sanity, and with each glimpse of the deep inside, each taste you get of the Great Nothingness, you will find what is real. The madness you feel has come only from your postponement, and even that has brought you great wisdom. So I will walk with you there, but just to the edge, and I will call the Great Beasts to guide you, but once we arrive, the leap must be yours, for only you know the way out of the dream.” 

When I heard this man speak , I could feel his heart and Spirit trying desperately to get all the words out. I almost cried listening to his plea, and then I decided to stand with him and his brothers as they arrive home, one by one… to the real war. I will do everything within my power to help them… help us.

At about the 26:28 mark, you will here something very important said by Mr Gordon Duff. Listen very carefully as he tells us what is really going on with the OWS, the police, and the military.